The Simplicity (or not?) of Meeting Your Own Needs

Meeting our own needs. It's simple. But simple doesn't always mean easy.

One thing that I've been thinking about lately is how intuitive our minds and bodies really are. We need sleep? Our eyes feel heavy, almost as if they are closing up shop, telling us it's time to go to bed. We're hungry? Our bellies growl, signaling their emptiness and indicating their need for nourishment. We're feeling sad? Tears well up in our eyes, notifying us of our need to have a good cry and let it out. We're happy? We smile. We laugh. We feel warm and content.

Our bodies and minds are pretty instinctive. They know what they need. It's just that we don't always listen to them. We fight them and argue with them that we know what's best, not them. But when we hear them out? When we surrender to them and meet their needs? Something really awesome happens.

There are lots of reasons why we may not listen to our minds and bodies, or tune them out. Maybe what our minds or bodies want feels really uncomfortable to us. Or maybe our needs interfere with what we want to happen. We also live in a culture that doesn't always praise meeting our needs. Sometimes society tells us to keep moving, even when we're tired. To stop eating, even when we aren't satisfied. To work and work and work, even when we are drained and need a break. To suck it up, even when we want to cry. It's almost as if we're taught to ignore our needs, and press on ahead. Well, here's a question: how is that working out for you?

For me, not so well. Tuning into our needs, or even asking the question, "what do I need right now?" creates a welcoming approach to our brains and bodies to direct our actions, rather than shoving them down and ignoring them. So I invite you to ask yourself that question right now. "What do I need?" It could be as simple as getting a drink of water, or closing your Instagram app. Maybe calling a friend, or going for a walk with your dog. Perhaps asking yourself the question at the beginning of each day will allow you some insight into how your schedule is impacting your mood. When looking at your calendar and asking "what do I need?" you may find that you really need to set some boundaries around your work life, or schedule some time to practice self-care, or pencil in a date night.

It's not easy to listen to our brains and bodies. But when we do, the magic of it all comes together. We give ourselves permission to meet our own needs in the here and now, and with time, we learn to trust ourselves again. We begin to have compassion for ourselves and meet ourselves with kindness rather than criticism.

Meeting your own needs is part of the journey of healing. I invite you to lean into the simplicity, yet discomfort, of such a task. What do you need today?

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