For many people with anxiety disorders, feelings of extreme stress and overwhelm seep into all parts of their life. This includes decision making.
All of us experience the difficulties of making a hard decision. It’s tough stuff that requires careful deliberation. Sometimes we feel stuck, like no matter what we choose will be the wrong path. Sometimes it’s super hard to pick because both options feel good and right. Anxiety sufferers often feel frozen in the decision making process. Research shows that anxiety actually disengages the part of our brain that helps us move through the decision making process (Park, et al 2016). That part of our brain is called the prefrontal cortex. It’s responsible for our higher level of thinking and is absolutely critical when it comes to making decisions. It’s located right behind our foreheads. You can see this bad boy here:
Because anxiety and stress literally short-circuits our brains in the decision making process, we often make poor choices when under extreme stress. Here are some tips to help you retrain your brain to get back into that prefrontal cortex mode, so that you can make a decision in a healthy, regulated way.
1. Chill Out
First and foremost, take some time to regulate yourself and find some calm. Remember that it’s normal to feel anxious about decision making. Practice some basic coping techniques, like breathing deeply or meditating, to help find your center. When you are grounded, you’re able to better access those parts of your brain that anxiety is hijacking. Even if you give yourself just five minutes to breathe or relax, you’re regaining some of that power over your neurobiology. And that’s pretty impressive!
2. Consider Your Values
A key component to decision making is considering what’s important to you. Try writing out the things that matter most to you at the end of the day. You might find that by zooming out and thinking of your core values, the decision making process becomes more clear.
3. Think About Your Goals
Another great trick is to consider your goals. Take a moment to close your eyes and consider your ultimate goals in life. Then, ask yourself how this decision impacts your goals. Does choosing one way or the other get you closer or further away from your ultimate goals?
4. Put it on Paper
Making a pro/con list might feel a little junior high, but there’s something about laying it all out on paper that helps to organize all information in a way that makes sense. Try taking a piece of paper and dividing it into four quadrants. In the first column, write “pros,” and in the second column, write “cons.” In the first row, write your first choice, and in the second row, write your second choice. You’ll end up with something like this:
As you fill in your quadrants, think about the weight of the items that you are considering. Some pros may be pretty light in comparison to the ways that the cons may affect you, or vice versa. For instance, the drawback of taking a paycut may outweigh the benefit of taking a less stressful job. Try underlining or circling the items that feel like they may affect you more than others. Just because you end up with more ‘pros’ or ‘cons’ doesn’t necessarily mean that the answer will be clear cut. Having the extra visual of seeing the weight of those items can be further illuminating.
5. Act!
If all else fails, simply give yourself a strict and short deadline, do your homework, and then act! Forcing yourself to make a decision quickly helps relieve you of the burden of overthinking. Often, we increase our anxiety by drawing out the inevitable feat of decision making by deliberating. We think...and think..and think...and think. At some point, we think ourselves into circles! Going with your gut and taking a risk helps to free yourself from that cycle.
Learning to trust yourself is important to the decision making process. Building up your decision making muscle can be difficult at first, but the more that you work it out, the easier it becomes!
Happy decision making :)
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